Feeling Random in Spring

That's me

Sixth College Apartments. I'd be living here next year if I'm staying.

Tanya's room, now mine, over the spring break.

She's gone to visit her boyfriend's parents for the first time.

Flowers blooming

Serenity in my bottle

Revelle College

Look familiar? That's right! Those are people practising Aikido rolls on the lawn!

Library Walk

Center Hall

International Center

I remember dancing here once, during fall. Met a Taiwanese girl. Met a Japanese girl.

Exquisite, I couldn't resist

More bunnies!!
Geisel Library

I was not sure what to expect. A week spent entirely alone, in a friend's apartment, while waiting for the spring quarter to start. I thought I might succumb to boredom, or loneliness, or both. It turned out to be a completely serene, self-revitalising experience. There was no boredom; on the contrary, I had too many tasks to handle. So many that I will not finish them in time, but this, too, I can accept, because I am enjoying myself too much, and nothing can go wrong. Loneliness? Solitude suits me, it seems. It is this delicious, entirely new taste on the tip of my tongue, tantalising and comforting. I want more.

Everyday I wake up, and the day expects nothing of me, and I expect nothing in return.

It is just this weird random feeling in my gut, like anything can happen, or nothing will. Dare I say it? It's almost magical...

The Forty Five Minute Countdown

7.15 am in the morning. Forty five minutes to the start of finals week. A sleepless night. 6 hours of exams consecutively, beginning when the minute hand strikes twelve.

I feel like writing.

I recently read a book. Its title: Stardust. Quite literally, a boy chases a fallen star to a faerie realm. Eventually he finds the object of his desire, captures it, and, inexplicably, he falls in love with her. Because this is no ordinary world, it is a world where stars are immortal beings shining in the nightsky, and if they are ever unfortunate enough to fall down to the mortal realm, they can never return. Of course, the boy doesn't quite realise that he's fallen in love, until closer to the end of the story, after going through numerous ordeals and adventures with his captive. It could have been a perfect ending. It was almost a perfect ending.

The story goes on, and ends like this: the boy grew into manhood and became king of the faerie realm, and he ruled wisely to his death. The star never aged, and she lived on, alone and, well, lonely.

How strange, that a feel-good story ended not quite the way that I anticipated. In some ways, I understand the author's intentions. This is, after all, a fairy tale, and some fairy tale endings do end with a finality that makes it hard to accept. They end, with a capital E. Death is not a stranger, it is a given. Live forever after? Maybe for another fairy tale, for another time.

I can't help but be saddened when characters in stories I love die. Can't authors understand, that the best ending, is one where the characters don't die? Even when the story ends, the characters live on in my imagination, immortal and free. Never alone. Never lonely.

I started thinking about what would make a really good story. I started thinking about what would happen in today's modern world, if a group of people were to be blessed (cursed?) with immortality. Unable to die, what actions would they take? Would they exploit their status, or use it to achieve something great? Would they, in watching the folly of mankind, as generations and more generations pass, become wiser than anybody else who has ever lived? Can they unravel the secret of God? Can intelligence and knowledge grow without limit, if given enough time and motivation? Will the general populace accept them as living miracles or will they be made to suffer by public condemnation?

My feeling is that, eventually, these people will achieve a status that nobody living can even begin to aspire to achieve. When this happens, it is only a matter of time, before they rule the world.